Parenting with an autoimmune disease can be so hard… not just on the parents, but on the kids as well.
Mommy is sorry about earlier today. I got really tired and had to lay down to rest in the middle of playtime. Sometimes I wake up tired, and other times it hits me out of the blue. I do love just being there when you guys play, even if I’m just laying down watching you.
I know it doesn’t feel like I’m participating, but I promise I am, and I’ll try to play more tomorrow.
Mommy is sorry she got cranky. Sometimes I feel like I’m not in control of my moods, and things just irritate me easier. It’s not you boys, it’s just the autoimmune disease. It messes with my hormones and makes me seem crazy with how easily I go from happy to mad.
I promise I’m not crazy, and I don’t love you any less even though I might not have very much patience right now. I will try to be more fun tomorrow.
Mommy is sorry we’re having chicken nuggets again for dinner. Some days it’s all of the energy I have to get the first 2 meals of the day made, and by the time you want to eat again I haven’t even started to prepare anything. So then I have to default to whatever is the quickest to cook.
I know that you need more than this, and I promise that I’ll get better at preparing meals ahead of time.
Mommy is sorry that she forgot about telling you that we could go to the playground until it was too late. Sometimes, my memory is full of holes and it seems like I’m decades older than I am. I really wanted to take you and watch you boys play, but my mind didn’t remember that I had said that.
I promise to get better about writing things down so that I don’t keep unintentionally breaking promises to you.
Mommy is sorry that we don’t go anywhere fun for days at a time. It often seems like I’m struggling to just keep the house running, and I don’t even know how to add in more activities. I know that sometimes we watch more TV than we should, and I want to get better at that.
Let’s go to the library tomorrow and get some books to read together at home. See? I’m writing it down so I don’t forget. I’m going to get better about this.
Mommy is sorry that sometimes she doesn’t seem like mommy anymore. But even though it seems like I may not be a lot of fun much of the time these days, I’m working so hard at getting better. My love for you fuels my fight against my body, and I am going to come out of this.
All of the sacrifices that I make, the food that I avoid, the supplements I take, and the doctors I see are all for you. So that I can heal, and be there for you both.
You mean the world to me, and I hope that when you look back at your childhood, you remember how hard your mommy tried for you. Even on the days you couldn’t see it, I was trying my best.
This post was originally written in March 2017. It was updated in February 2019.
Wonderful post. I know the struggle well. I don’t have an autoimmune disorder (that I know of) but I have a lot of food sensitivities and some other stuff going on that drains me some days. Sometimes it’s all I can do to make it through the day! But, I keep on keeping on. And, ya know- even if we’re watching tv instead of reading or playing in the basement instead of going to the park- at least I’m with them. I hope they just remember that mama loves them and did the best she could!!
Thank you so much for the encouragement, mama. It means a lot to know I’m not alone in this ????
J. Ivy Boyter says
I struggle with this as well and have been planning a similar post for my blog, just haven’t found the words!
Parenting with autoimmunity is unbelievably difficult … and I totally feel you on the emotional roller coaster!
Thanks so much for the kind words mama ???? the support means so much to me.
This actually brought a tear to my eye because I too battle Hashimoto’s and until I was diagnosed a little over a month ago and before I had an understanding of this disease I felt like a horrible parent, like I was failing my children in so many ways. Since the diagnosis and going gluten free I have now a combination of good days and bad days, whereas before it was mostly bad, but at least I have a better understanding of it all and can start fighting this disease to a path of well-being. It is comforting to know though that others have felt as I do and I’m not the only one dealing with these sort of things. Thank you for sharing this.
I’m so thankful that you resonated with this post! It helps me feel like I’m not alone too, when I hear from people like you. You are so strong and your kids will see that in you. ????