Being symptom free was my end goal.
I was holding off on living my life because I still had symptoms. “I can’t go, I don’t feel well.” “Sorry, I can’t, I might have a panic attack.” “I’m too anxious, I’m sorry, maybe next time.”
Why did I think my life was not worth living if I didn’t feel perfect? Most people don’t feel perfect. I had set this impossible standard for myself based out of perfectionism.
Because of this, I passed on events, get together, game nights, and days out. I said “no” way more than I said “yes”. And I missed days. And then weeks. And then years of my life.
I was causing myself to miss my own life because I didn’t see myself worthy of living it if I didn’t feel amazing. And then I’d end the day full of regret for not being the mom, wife, friend, and person that I desperately wanted to be.
You can’t change the symptoms and stay the same person. You have to change the person to change the symptoms. I can show you how, and it all starts with awareness. You can’t change what you aren’t aware of. And your life is worth being present for, even if it’s messy and you don’t feel well and you wish things were different. They’ll be different one day, but today is still worth living.
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