I have been fighting my autoimmune disease (Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis) for over a year now. It’s been rough, I’m not going to lie. I have struggled with diet changes, reducing stress, getting more exercise, and then having the strength to stick to all of these changes. I have succeeded for weeks on end, only to give in to that one special dessert (or three… don’t judge) and then fall off of the wagon for two weeks. Then I’d have to start again, overcoming the cravings, meal planning, detoxing from sugar. The ups and downs finally proved worth it though when a few weeks ago my blood work came back that my Hashimoto’s was almost in remission. I cried, I was so thrilled that my hard work was finally paying off!
And then, one month later I find that I have yet another battle to fight.
Well that excitement lasted a while, huh? (Note the sarcasm.) Lyme disease is scary, and can cause many symptoms and problems. It’s mostly carried by ticks, but can also be carried by mosquitoes and fleas. (Have I mentioned how much I hate bugs?!) This could be why many people who end up with Lyme (including me) don’t remember being bitten by ticks. Another frustrating thing about Lyme is that it’s difficult to diagnose, since the microbes bury themselves deep into tissues and then can “blend” in with the other microbes in the body. It can even hide and lay dormant for months or years before becoming active again. It’s a sneaky bacterium, and can cause so many problems.
Most of my symptoms are neurological, and include:
-Tingling on my scalp
-Recurring numbness in my fingers
-Feeling like I am stepping on a pebble, but there is nothing under my foot
-Feeling like my whole body is vibrating on the inside, but the outside isn’t moving
-Thyroid dysfunction (and all other Hashimoto’s symptoms could be related)
-The return of my brain fog (seriously?!)
And many other symptoms that I can’t think of right now. (See? Brain fog.)
I’m pretty sure that the Lyme is the root cause of my Hashimoto’s. I never really figured out what caused the Hashimoto’s to start, and this makes a whole lot of sense when I look at the timeline of symptoms. And if I’m being honest, I have been struggling through some pretty powerful emotions for the past couple of days. I’m angry. I’m frustrated. I’m confused. I’m scared. Really scared. However, I can truthfully say that I am thankful for the timing of this. I’m not thankful for being sick (yet again), but I’m thankful that I have had a year to get into better habits. I’ve had a year to read and research and educate myself on the best ways to keep myself and my family healthy. I’ve had a year to learn how to love myself and my body, despite how often we fail each other. I’m thankful that I wasn’t handed all of these illnesses at once to try to tackle. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming that would have been.
I’m thankful that I have a friend who is on this same journey, and who I can learn so much from. She’s already provided so much information to me, including an herbal program that she’s used and had a ton of success from! I’m looking forward to getting more healing done and being able to help others that may be looking for help with this too. But the thing that I’m looking forward to the most is not being afraid anymore.
I never pretend to have it all together here, and I’ll always be honest with you. I am not super-mom; but I love my kids more than I ever thought was possible. Even when they’re driving me nuts. 😉 I am not a perfect wife; but my husband is my best friend and even though we have some big ups and downs, I’m so thankful that I married him. I am a Christian, but I really struggle with feeling like I have a good relationship with Christ. I have horrible anxiety, which only exacerbates all of the above. I’m not perfect, and I will never pretend to be. I’m human. I’m sick. And I’m afraid of what this invisible disease can do.
So y’all, I’m throwing everything I’ve got at this. And Lord willing, I’m throwing everything He has at it too! I can’t do this alone, but I’m not alone. I just need to remember that more 😉 And if I ever get discouraged, or feel like I can’t do it… I will remember my reasons WHY.
They are the reasons that I read so many articles and make so many vegetables. The reasons that I buy essential oils like they’re going out of style and use big chunks of bacteria to make fermented tea. The reasons that I laugh and smile and cry and feel like I’m going crazy. Or maybe even the reasons that I’ve already gone crazy.
Have you struggled with anything like this? If you’re going through something similar, let me know! I’d love to start a community where we can be real and help support each other!