Acton Academy Palm Harbor has failed our child.

We enrolled our children at a small, alternative private school that promised freedom, empowerment, and self-governance. What we discovered instead was a culture where freedom meant virtually no adult oversight, leaving our child exposed to bullying, humiliation, and victim-blaming… and us with no choice but to withdraw.

A Timeline of Harm

• • First Week of School – Our son (“Child”) began experiencing bullying from three peers (“Bully 1”, “Bully 2”) who repeatedly called him nicknames he asked them to stop using. When he tried to mirror the behavior back, he was told it wasn’t allowed.

  • Mid-August – During a group project, Bully 1 insisted Child wear pink to “fit the theme.” When he said he didn’t like pink and thought it was more of a “girl color,” he was immediately labeled “sexist.”

  • Late August – Teacher met with Child privately, then with peers, and then told Child directly that he was being “a little sexist.” Later the same day, Teacher took the issue into a whole-class Socratic discussion, asking whether “not liking pink or purple” was sexist, and had students vote. The conversation ended with Teacher affirming it was “a bit sexist.” Though Child’s name wasn’t spoken, the timing made it obvious to everyone. This is when Bully 3 decided to start targeting Child, going out of his way to exclude, yell at, or embarrass Child.

  • Mid-September – Bully 1 confronted Child over his favorite Greek god, which he doesn’t have one but when she persisted he choose, one, chose Zeus at random. Bully 1 then loudly declared “How dare you! He raped 4 women!”, repeated the shaming comment for another classmate walking by, and implying that Child was wrong or bad for choosing him. This was deeply confusing and shaming for a 10-year-old, who is not developmentally prepared to process such adult concepts, let alone in a public peer setting.

  • Afterward – Child was targeted by even more peers. One student said, “I won’t be on a team with… certain people.” Others whispered and mocked him. What began with two bullies became a group dynamic.

The Fallout

This was not a case of “kids being kids.” A trusted adult weaponized a private conversation and turned it into public judgment, effectively giving peers permission to escalate. Developmentally, ten-year-olds are still concrete thinkers who cannot process nuanced adult terms like “sexist” and “rape”. What they hear instead is: “I am bad.”

Neuroscience confirms that the social pain of exclusion and humiliation activates the same regions of the brain as physical pain. What the adults framed as “discussion” became, for our child, trauma.

Our Attempts at Resolution

We brought these issues to the school leader (“Principal”). Instead of accountability, we encountered:

• Gaslighting and deflection. We were told our child needed to “take more responsibility”, even as adults refused to acknowledge their role in escalating the bullying.

• Victim blaming. When peers continued to target Child, the responsibility was placed back on him rather than on the bullies or the adult who fueled the behavior.

• Hostility. In one instance, Principal showed open hostility and anger at us, the parents, instead of owning to her own mistakes and taking accountability like the school claims to model for the children. We were even told perhaps this school “wasn’t the right fit”, a way of pushing us out rather than owning their failures.

Meanwhile, Bullies continued having free rein, even engaging in conversations far beyond what is age-appropriate (such as accusing Child of liking a Greek god “who raped people”). No adult stepped in to moderate or redirect.

Pattern of Failures

1. Peer bullying began with nicknames, exclusion, and shaming language.

2. Adult mishandling escalated the situation by labeling Child “a little sexist” and using it for a public class vote.

3. Trust betrayed: Child’s private disclosure was turned into public humiliation.

4. Victim blaming & gaslighting: Leadership accused Child of dishonesty and implied the problem was him, not the peers or guide.

5. Hostile communication: Parents were met with defensiveness, dismissal, and suggestions to withdraw, instead of support.

6. Ongoing targeting: Peers continue to escalate exclusion and humiliation.

7. Inadequate Adult Oversight: Communications with Principal make it clear she is unaware of much of what is actually happening in her school. By relying too heavily on “freedom” for the children, adults are abdicating responsibility for maintaining a safe and age-appropriate environment. This lack of oversight has allowed bullies free rein to target peers and engage in highly inappropriate conversations without intervention.

Why We Withdrew

At a certain point, we realized the adults were not going to protect our child. Trust had been broken, harm was compounded, and our child, who was once a social, eager learner, began dreading school. We withdrew both of our children, because we will never not protect them.

Why We’re Speaking Out

We share this not out of spite, but out of responsibility to other families considering similar schooling models. Freedom without oversight is not empowerment… it is neglect. When adults abdicate their responsibility to provide safety, bullies are given unchecked power, and children who need protection are left vulnerable.

If you’re considering a self-directed school, ask the hard questions:

• How do adults handle bullying and conflict?

• What protections are in place when a child feels unsafe?

• How are “freedom” and “safety” balanced in daily practice?

Our children deserve curiosity, encouragement, and safety… not labels, humiliation, and abandonment by the very adults entrusted with their care.