I see the ads everywhere… From gym commercials, pop-ups on websites, or promoted ads on Facebook. “You CAN be a fit mom! Click HERE to find out how! No More Excuses!” Sigh. We have apparently become a society that places 99% emphasis on someone’s outward appearance, and the rest of that 1% is divided up among the rest of our contributing factors. Anyone who isn’t “fit” (as in- looking good, thin, washboard abs and no extra chins) according to the generally accepted standards of society isn’t trying enough. They’re being lazy. They’re not eating healthy enough. They’re eating too much. They’re making excuses. But the thing is, not everyone is making excuses.
You see, I’ve dealt with this just about my whole life. I was called names growing up, I was made fun of, I’ve heard comments about my weight. I’ve tried every different diet and eating plan known to man. They don’t help. I’ve exercised, I’ve done kickboxing, weight lifting, HIIT, spin classes, yoga, Insanity, running, walking, and various other workouts. Still don’t lose weight. Or I did lose it, but it came right back. It’s not because I’m lazy, and it’s not because I’m not eating well enough. It’s because I have an autoimmune disease.
I do have an excuse for not being your definition of a “fit mom”. It’s not because I don’t try to be as healthy as I can, but it is because the autoimmune disease that I have won’t allow my body to let go of any weight right now. I eat Paleo, avoid food allergies and sensitivities, and don’t eat inflammatory foods. I also work out and lift weights 5-6 days a week. I’m strong. I can lift more than I ever thought I could. But I can’t do intense workouts because of my healing adrenal fatigue. It’s not because I’m lazy, it’s just part of the healing process of autoimmune diseases.
It’s estimated that over 20% of Americans have an autoimmune disease. That means that 1 in 5 people have a problem with their immune system attacking their body. So chances are, having abs isn’t even at the front of their mind. I know personally, I’d rather be healthy than thin. Because make no mistake, they are not the same thing. Not all thin people are healthy and not all overweight people are unhealthy, speaking in terms of blood work and body functions. If you have an autoimmune disease, your definition of “health” probably changes by the week. This week, I will feel healthy if I can make it through 10am without feeling like I need to nap. It’s not because I’m lazy, it’s because my body is sick.
I don’t want to be a fit mom, I want to be a healthy mom.
So maybe we should focus on helping people to get healthy on the inside instead of trying to help them achieve a type of figure. Focus on the inputs, and the outputs will come. We should teach them healthy foods for their families, and good ways to exercise together. Long-lasting lifestyle changes, instead of quick 30-day “magic” challenges that could never be long-term. They don’t need another one of those, they need love, support, and examples. Let’s focus on what we’re eating, the ingredients in our foods, what pesticides they were grown in, and the coloring that is added that makes it look more appetizing.
Chances are, 1 out of every 5 people you see is fighting an invisible illness, and it’s not easy. Many of those people don’t even know what they are fighting. I may not speak for all autoimmune sufferers, but it is beyond frustrating to live in a body that you take care of, but it doesn’t respond anyways. I don’t need anyone’s negative thoughts about my appearance, because I struggle with enough of my own.
So enough with the ads that suggest my life is somehow lacking because I don’t have abs after having a baby. Stop telling me that I’m making excuses. And why do I need to be swimsuit ready? As long as my swimsuit fits, I’m swimsuit ready! My kids don’t care how I look in a swimsuit, as long as I’m playing in the pool with them. And for the love, we don’t need thigh gaps, ladies! How else will you catch things you drop in your lap?
My goal is healthy. Not thin, not skinny, not anything that you can see from the outside. I want to be healthy on the inside. And I want to be HAPPY through and through. THAT is the ultimate goal.
And if you are a fit, healthy, smokin’ hot mama, then that is awesome. I’m genuinely happy for you, because your body is obviously responding right to the way you’re treating it. That really is something to be excited about! But we all need to remember not to obsess over the scale, our pants size, or all of that. They don’t define us. Focus on the healthy eating. The good quality exercise. The right amount of sleep. Not stressing too much. These inputs will bring you true health.
Let’s stop focusing on looking good on the outside, and start focusing on being healthy on the inside. Our health is the most important thing, and what our families really want. My kids don’t care if I’m a fit mom, and they certainly don’t want me to have a thigh gap; they want me to be healthy enough to play with them, and for me to be happy about it. And honestly, that’s what I want too, regardless of how I look. And let’s be honest, extra chins are underrated.
Let’s love ourselves the way we are, instead of making it conditional on what we look like in the mirror.
I love this! I also don’t want to be a fit mom. I prefer healthy mom lol or an everything in moderation mom. Haha
And that’s awesome, if that’s your goal! ???? don’t let anyone else tell you that your goals aren’t good enough!
I love this post! No matter what I do, I just can’t bring myself to be fit. Lol
Belle | One Awesome Momma
Haha… that’s ok! We all have different goals 😉
Good post! I do work out because I actually enjoy it. But I NEVER step on a scale. If I feel good, that’s my reward. God Bless.
That’s such a great attitude to have! I work out too, and I do enjoy it! I love getting stronger and better at what I’m doing. But I don’t care what I weigh. I don’t need the triggers for my eating disorder, I don’t need to compare myself to anyone else, and I just need to focus on changing my eating and being healthy inside and my weight will do it’s thing 😉
It’s awesome that your sharing your story about your autoimmune disease. So many people are unaware and misinformed. As long as your happy that’s all that should ever matter. Ads are so over rated.
You’re so right! Focusing on what’s right for each of us is what we should be doing. Unfortunately I know of too many people who are affected negatively by all the photoshopped images out there
Favorite line, “if my swimsuit fits, I am swimsuit ready” – I always find myself trying to compare my figure to that of others and in the end I give up. Thank you for reminding me that its not the image its about being healthy and loving yourself the way you are right now.
When we compare ourselves to others, we will always come up short. But if we strive for the best that we can do for us, then we will be happy ????
I love this-being HEALTHY is what’s important, not looking like a bikini model
Exactly! Those models don’t even look like models, with the photoshopping and all 😉
I love this!! Not many people can stick with something! I’m glad you choose your health to be so important, them babies need you!!!
Thanks girl! My babies are my WHY! 😉
This is so good! “Not all thin people are healthy and not all overweight people are unhealthy.” I 100% agree with this. Getting a “fit” looking body while living with unhealthy habits is just putting a bandage on the wound. Thank you for bringing the focus onto what is actually important.
Thanks for the encouragement, mama!
I LOVE THIS! LOVE!!! Our son-in-law had an autoimmune disease and he didn’t know what he was fighting. The battle was different from week to week, sometimes from day to day. The outside literally doesn’t speak to the health inside the body and what’s going on. Thank you for raising awareness.
Oh man, sorry to hear about your son! Hope he’s doing better now. Thanks for your encouragement!
“Id rather be healthy than thin” this perfectly describe what mothers should be.
Yes! I agree. Thanks mama!
I agree. I’d rather be a healthy mom who sets a good example for my kids, be able to keep up with them and be feel confident in my choices.
Yes! I don’t care if people think I look good or not, I care if my kids are happy.
We need more voices like this that teach that being thin is not equal to being healthy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wish I could say that I can feel strong- it’s what I am working on this year.
Thanks mama! Working on being strong is a great goal to have, you can accomplish it!
Oh, such a touchy topic! I’ve always thought my physical appearance doesn’t adequately portray my level of health! And well meaning folks always try to tell me I should just exercise more, but with adrenal fatigue, that seems to have the opposite result for me. There was once a gym owned by a friend of mine who’s motto was “earn your body” and it always made me really annoyed! Great post, Stefani
I completely agree! My physical appearance doesn’t show my level of health either. And yes, with adrenal fatigue, more exercise is counterproductive. Not everyone understands the complexities of the human body and why things aren’t what they seem. Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Totally agree with you. I would love to be a fit mum but I am happy just being a healthy mum. As long as I can keep up with my children, that is all that matters.