The New Year is just around the corner, and we are deep in reflection mode. This year is coming to an end, and with that, we get to look back on everything that we’ve done this year, and the things that we haven’t done as well. It’s time to start setting some worthwhile New Years resolutions for next year, as well.

Did we lose the weight we wanted? Do we fit into the clothes we wore that one summer? Did we change our eating habits or exercise more or make more money? Was the year full of high flying moments, or was there a lot of ups and downs?

So many of the goals that we make every year seem to focus on changing something about the way we are. Whether it’s the way we look, the way we act, or the way we handle situations, we tell ourselves that we aren’t enough as-is.  We forget that nobody has it all together, and that life is full of ups and downs.  If we didn’t have the low moments, we wouldn’t recognize the high ones.

We sit down and write down our goals, and note what was a success and what was a failure. Then we take the time to think through next year, and set goals that we hope to meet. Setting goals isn’t a bad thing, I actually think it’s a fantastic way to challenge yourself to grow. But not meeting goals because life happened isn’t a failure, and I really want us to change the way we view ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to focus on the things that I haven’t done way more than I should. Instead of being proud of the things I’ve accomplished this year, I’m disappointed by what I didn’t get to accomplish. But why?

Worthwhile New Years Resolutions

Why does everything that I was able to do get cancelled out by the things I didn’t get to finish? Why are my successes never enough for me, unless there have been no failures at all?

We need to start giving ourselves more credit. We work hard. We try to change. We set goals, and reach for those goals, and sometimes we even meet the goals… but then our focus turns to the goals we didn’t get a chance to meet instead of taking the time to really feel good about what we have been able to accomplish.

Instead of making a “new me” this New Year, I’m making a different resolution:

I am going to love myself more, not change myself. I’m going to be happier, more positive, and more forgiving. I’m going to cheer for myself when I meet a goal, and forgive myself quickly when I don’t. I’m not going to give up on myself, but I’m going to give myself much needed grace.

And once I have given myself all of these things, I will be a new me. But not because I needed to change to be loved, but because loving myself changed me.

What kind of resolutions are you making this year?