I’m excited to introduce y’all to my new guest poster! Zara is from High Style Life and she has some great perspective on parenting and life. You can find her full bio and social media information under the post. Welcome, Zara!
One of the greatest and hardest things a parent needs to learn is the art of balancing. When you love your child so much – it’s so hard to resist the urge to protect them from everything that could potentially do them harm.
However, keeping your child sheltered doesn’t only create a shield from the bad things but the good ones, too. Getting hurt or failing is the essential part of understanding the world and its mechanisms, and becoming more resilient. That is exactly how children learn: empirically and by observing. Isolating them from bad experiences will only leave them ill-equipped for life in the future. If you’ve noticed you tend to hover over your child’s every move, you may fall into the group of helicopter parents. Here’s how you can draw a line so you support your child but don’t negate their self-sufficiency.
Let your kids fail
Nobody likes failing: it makes us feel like losers, it can be demotivating, and it can even disrupt our mental health. However, by handling every failure as an integral part of the trial and error process, your child will eventually grow a spine. Failing is crucial for developing emotional intelligence as it introduces a new specter of emotions: embarrassment, discomfort, feeling low or disappointed. These emotions shouldn’t be labeled as negative ones because they support the child’s overall growth. Your child needs to experience them in order to become more resilient. Don’t nurture the fear of failure and don’t punish your kids if they don’t succeed in doing something. Initiate a conversation with them and reconstruct what happened to ensure a lesson is learned. Illustrate the importance of failure through real life examples or even use parables from the Bible to help them understand the value of persistence.
Help them become independent explorers
Parents are hardwired to worry, especially when it comes to new experiences a child is about to plunge into. One study conducted in 2015 underlined the importance of supporting children’s independent mobility with all possible safety measures, especially when it comes to road environment. A significant increase of parents who refuse to let their children get around on their own has been noted in the research. Experts say this attitude can harm children’s physical, mental, and social development. Instead of driving your kid to school every time, teach them to ride a bicycle or roller skates so that they can learn how to be more responsible and alert in traffic as well as enjoy other health benefits. In order to empower your child to become more independent, you have to free yourself from any personal fear and concerns.
Don’t push them into becoming overachievers
When you look at your child’s eyes, do you see a future Nobel Prize winner? Or maybe even a president-to-be? There are two main mistakes parents make: first is projecting their personal ambitions to their child and pushing too far in the process; second is interfering too much and making kids focus only on studying. Of course, education is not the only thing that matters. Parents tend to overprotect children from “bad influences“ that come from their peers and so they cut out playtime thinking they’re doing what’s best for them. A study conducted at the University of Utah showed a child’s playtime is essential for their optimal development. This also applies to their leisure time when they get older. As a parent, you might think you’re protecting your child from failing in the future by making them fully respect their talents when in fact – you’re preventing them from enjoying themselves.
Let them fight their battles
If you intervene every time your child encounters a problem, you’re likely to raise an incompetent young adult. Your role as a parent is not to solve your child’s problems but to empower them to do that on their own. This means you can react if you hear the “Mommy, he hit me“ cries but essentially – you are not supposed to handle your child’s conflicts. However, you can provide useful tools: ask questions in order to support your child in developing critical thinking skills. Guide them to the answers, don’t serve them on the plate.
As the last takeaway, try to get rid of parent guilt. Being a parent implies a great amount of pressure and self-doubting. Remember: there is no perfect formula for successful parenting!
Latest posts by Zara Lewis (see all)
- Natural Ways to Combat Seasonal Allergies and Boost your Immunity - March 27, 2017
- Don’t Overprotect Your Kids: Tips for Avoiding Helicopter Parenting - January 19, 2017