I know that it’s hard. Once you have babies, you struggle to find yourself again. It seems like every part of you is meant to be used by someone else, and you can hardly recognize who you see in the mirror. It’s not easy bringing little ones into the world, and then sacrificing every last part of yourself in order to raise them into the amazing human beings that you know they can be. Some days, it takes everything out of you just to keep everyone alive, and that’s ok. We all have days like that.
Some of the biggest struggles that I have faced since becoming a mama is figuring out who I am. I know that I’m the wife to a wonderful man, and the mother to two precious little boys; but who am I to me?
I know that you worry about not finding yourself again. But keep looking and you will start finding breadcrumbs; bits and pieces that start adding up to a puzzle that makes you whole. These missing pieces will make sense to you, even though you can’t see the big picture yet. But keep searching.
And then when you start feeling like you know who you are again, it will happen. There will be someone who does something that makes you feel like you’re not good enough. You’re not cool enough. You’ll feel like there is something wrong with you, that maybe you’re missing what they see. Maybe the pieces that you’ve been finding aren’t what you’ve been looking for after all? The opinion that others have formed about you will cause you to doubt yourself.
You’ll begin to wonder if there is something about you that’s just unlikeable, or maybe if you’ve said something that was off-putting. Maybe you’ll wonder if you just have a personality or sense of humor that’s difficult to understand.
But I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t really matter what those people think of you. What matters most is what you think of you, what your spouse thinks of you, and what your kids think of you. Those are the people that you are responsible to on a daily basis; and they are the only ones who’s opinions you should listen to. Those other people that are making you question yourself- they’re not worth it. You can’t please everybody, but you can please you. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you a better mama, and do what you need to do to love yourself; regardless of whether or not everybody else approves or agrees. It isn’t their journey.
Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. And remember how awesome you are.